For The Long Haul
by Harligh Quinn
Summary: Nick and Andy are on the journey of their lives. Unfortunately for them, they just don't know it yet. Picks up after episode 4x06.


**For the Long Haul**

**Summary**: Nick and Andy are on the journey of their lives. They just don't know it yet. Picks up after episode 4x06.

**Rating:** T (Eventual M)

**Notes: ** So I am not sure how this happened… I mean I know I typed words and they sort of came together to form sentences, but I'm not sure where this story came from. I guess you could say I was just inspired by two characters that I never pictured together but have somehow managed to so effortlessly reinvent the process of falling in love. As of yet, I have a small idea of where I'd like this story to go, but I am just going to go wherever the plotbunnies lead me because –lets be honest here–they are in control of this process.

I'd like to give a small shout out **AmyLeigh88, Tacosandflowers** and the few other _McCollins_ writers out there. You guys rock. Your works are what inspire me when the show credits roll. If you haven't read their fics yet, **do it.**

I promise you won't be disappointed.

Lastly, if any of you would feel so kind as to leave a _detailed_ reviews regarding what you did like and what you thought I could improve on I would be _oh-so-very_ grateful.

* * *

**_Chapter One_**

Groaning softly, Nick rolled over from where he lay uncomfortably on his living room couch trying to pin point what it was that woke him. Struggling to open his eyes, he instantly regretted the decision as harsh sunlight immediately flooded his vision.

It took a few seconds for Nick to realize the banging he heard actually wasn't a result of his massive hangover, but rather someone at his door. Rolling back into the fetal position on the couch, Nick hoped whoever was at the door would get the hint and leave because there was no way in hell he was getting up any time soon.

Unfortunately for him, whoever was at the door wasn't getting the hint as the insistent pounding continued again while Nick burrowed deeper into the back of the couch.

"_Nick, come on…open the door."_

Even in his pained and half delirious state, it wasn't hard for him to make out Andy's muffled voice from the other side of the door.

Cursing silently to himself, he placed a pillow over his head. He just couldn't catch a break.

"Nick, I know you're in there. I saw your truck in the parking lot."

When Nick didn't immediately reply, she seemed to switch gears.

"Collins, if you don't open this door _right now_, I swear-"

She paused, as if looking for a fitting punishment before finishing.

"-I'm going to tell Frank what **_really_** happened to his new coffee maker."

Rolling over on to his back to stare at the ceiling tiredly, Nick carefully weighed his options. As if sensing his hesitation, Andy warningly added.

"Don't think I won't, Collins!"

Rolling his eyes, Nick slowly rose from the couch and made his way to the door without giving pause to his current state of being or his surroundings.

From the other side of the door, the awkward silence continued as Andy suspected that she was going to actually have to kick down Nick's door, when the locks suddenly clicked and the door opened. The awkward silence only seemed to continue as Andy took in the scruffy five o'clock shadow, disheveled, flyaway hair that was dragging across the top of Nick's forehead and rumpled clothing that had replaced her normally clean shaven best friend's appearance.

After a few uncomfortable beats, Andy broke the silence by stating the obvious.

"I'd ask you how you've been, but I guess that kinda goes without saying…" Andy, trailed off, glancing over Nick's shoulder nervously before she tilted her head toward his apartment.

"Can I come in?"

Slightly embarrassed and not looking to put up an argument, Nick rubbed the back of his neck as he slowly stepped aside to give her room to enter. Once settled inside the apartment, Andy made her way over to the living room. Behind her, Nick quietly shut the door and followed her in as she surveyed his apartment for the first time.

While he was proud that he'd managed to not _completely_ trash his place during his four day bender, he couldn't help but be a little self-conscious as she carefully looked around. The large windows of the main room still went without blinds. It was more out of laziness than taste, but it helped to brighten up what Andy would probably consider an otherwise bare apartment as most of the walls were rather Spartan to begin with - mostly because Nick had only moved into this place a month ago, but also because by nature he wasn't a pack rat. The rest of the room consisted of a large grey sectional, a few small ferns he hadn't quit managed to kill off yet, and an oak coffee table he had built himself a few years ago.

Regrettably, the hand made table wasn't something that Nick could take pride in at the moment as it was currently adorned with a few — make that twelve — empty beer cans, an empty handle of _Jack_, a half empty pizza box and a broken picture frame that lay face up. The picture of him and Gail that had been in it was suspiciously missing and, at the moment, Nick failed to recollect what had become of it.

On the opposite side of the room there was an old record player with new speakers, and a large contemporary book case that was filled with the many books Nick had picked up over the years. Most of them were on philosophy, history, or warfare; a few of them were biographies, mostly of military leaders or dictators and the rest were DIY manuals that Nick had used for various projects throughout the years.

Truth be told, the layout of this apartment wasn't that far of a cry from the one they had shared while they had been undercover. When he had gone apartment hunting after they had returned, he had seen close to a hundred apartments of varying types and sizes, but it wasn't until he set foot in this one that he felt like he was home. And if Nick hadn't been nursing a serious hangover at the moment, he might have taken pause to deliberate on whether or not Andy saw that too. However, as it were, most of his concentration was being spent on remaining in an upright position, with the rest being spent on making sure he didn't puke all over himself.

Sliding his eyes over to her now he watched her silently. Standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, she finally finished her appraisal of his apartment before turning cautiously to look at him.

For her part, Andy looked no worse for the wear - casually dressed in a white fitted top, blue jeans, and flats. Her hair was still up which Nick took to mean that she probably skipped the shower and raced straight over to his place as soon as shift ended. Shifting timidly on her feet, she finally addressed him.

"You called out from work today."

That was true.

He had somehow managed to do that at some point last night when he realized he was getting too fucked up to move let alone be coherent enough to report to work. Still, that didn't really explain why Andy was here now, and his facial expression must had conveyed as much because she followed that statement up with just that.

"Gail mentioned you might be needing a little TLC…I thought you were sick."

For the first time since she arrived, Nick noticed the small bag clasped in her hands on the side which read Soup Heaven. Raising the bag towards him in offering, she continued, a small smile playing at her lips.

"It's chicken and stars…I remembered you said it was your favorite."

Sighing at the spasming feeling that suddenly blossomed in his chest, Nick rubbed his face awkwardly before striding over and taking it from her, their fingers gently brushing as he did so.

Standing this close to her was having a weird effect on him. He barely managed a soft "thanks", before the clutching feeling in his chest and the pounding of his head made the room spin dangerously.

He knew she probably wanted him to say more, but at the moment he didn't trust himself to respond without either saying something incredible stupid or throwing up all over her shoes. So, rather than stand there, he strode toward the kitchen and put it in the empty fridge.

It wasn't until he turned to return to the living room that he looked up to see that Andy had followed him into the kitchen. She was sporting a worried look that seemed to only get worse the more time she spent in his apartment, and Nick felt his hangover throb with a vengeance as he slumped forward; hating that it had come to _this. _

Hating the fact that she was seeing him like this.

"Nick, is everything okay?"

Breaking away from his thoughts, Nick almost managed a snort at the question.

It was just so, so, _fucking ridiculous_ considering the current state of his life. But when he saw the truly concerned look on her face, he was reminded of the night four days ago when he and Gail had said their final goodbye while seated in his truck.

The moment he pulled out of the parking lot, he felt this sudden intense onset of rage he barely even noticed as his knuckles turned white while gripping the steering wheel. For hours he drove aimlessly around the city before ending up at her apartment building.

Despite the lateness of the hour he could see that her bedroom light was still on. As he sat in the car with the engine running and rain lightly falling on his window, he thought about it. Truly thought about what it would mean for their friendship if he went up right then, knocked on her door and spilled everything: the details of his breakup with Gail, the anger that he felt, his fear that he would always want to run.

His growing feelings for her.

He thought of what her reaction might be to all of it.

Somehow, he was able to accurately conjure up the same expression that she wore right now. A mix of confusion and concern - arms crossed and brows knitted, soft brown eyes wrought with sympathy. It was that mental picture that ultimately forced him to take his car out of park and back into drive.

He didn't want that.

He didn't want Andy's sympathy.

Having grown up without his parents and having been on the receiving end of many people's pitied looks, he didn't want to add hers to the list. He had worked too hard to become the man he was today to end up on the receiving end of anyone's pity, but it would be especially worse coming from her because she'd managed to do what very few had done before: get close enough to make it hurt.

It wasn't until he ended up at the pier near their old undercover apartment that he lost it; nearly breaking his hand as he punched the passenger door of his truck repeatedly. Angry at himself for letting things come to this; angry at Gail for cheating; angry at the world for giving him a glimpse of a life he could never have. Everything after that moment had been part of this downward spiral. It wasn't until she was standing in front him right now that he realized he needed to get a hold of himself.

"Yeah," he mumbled, so soft he barely heard it himself before he straightened up, leaning against the fridge and roughly cleared his throat before giving a proper answer.

"I guess I just caught that stomach bug that's been going around. I should be back at work tomorrow, though."

He added that last part after spying her dubious reaction to his half-hearted attempt for an excuse.

Still Andy seemed to eye him carefully after his admission; as if weighing the truth of his words against the perception of her own eyes before finally stepping forward and placing a cool hand on his forehead, brushing back his bangs in the process. Nick found that he had to steel himself against the involuntary shudder that ran through him at her touch. Luckily for him, his hangover seemed to have actually raised his temperature enough for her to buy it. Sliding her hand down his face to rub against the stubble, she smiled sadly before agreeing.

"You do feel pretty warm."

Slightly disappointed, he tried not to pout as she removed her hand. Fortunately the loss of contact only lasted a moment before she reached down to grab his hand and pull him towards her.

"Come on; let's get you into bed so I can make sure you're in ship-shape tomorrow. I need you back in action ASAP, otherwise I'll risk having to spend another twelve hour shift with Chloe."

Smiling for the first time in days, Nick let her lead him to his bedroom without protest.

As they stepped into his bedroom together Nick couldn't help but glance in her direction to gauge her reaction. If only to observe the small smile Andy provided, as she spotted the small black and white TV that sat on the dresser opposite his queen sized bed. She turned to him with the question he already knew would follow.

"_Is that?"_

"…The TV from our stakeout?" He finished for her as he nodded his head affirmatively.

Her smile only grew as she looked around the room and he took it as a sign that she _did_ notice how similarly his place was to their undercover apartment - even down to the exposed brick walls and industrial lighting fixtures on the ceiling.

He was silently thankful that he had taken to sleeping on the living room couch over the last few days rather than his bed. Alright, maybe it was more like he had been completely incapable of making it from his living room to his bed since he'd last seen Gail, but either way, he was relieved that his bedroom was fully intact for the first time she saw it.

"You know, Chloe's actually not _that bad_ once you get used to her little idiosyncrasies."

He made the comment offhandedly as he got into bed; suddenly remembering her earlier comment about Fifteen's newest recruit. Stepping over to the bed, Andy snorted while pulling up the light blue covers.

"She may not be _that bad_, but let's just say I now know more about the mating habits of marsupials than I ever wanted to know. Speaking of which, did you know that Koala's like rough sex and frequently engage in gangbangs?"

Despite his body's reluctance, Nick couldn't help but choke back a laugh, startled at her comment.

"Excuse me, but _what?"_

Laughing at his incredulous reaction, Andy sat down on the bed near his feet. The act felt so natural Nick couldn't help but be lulled into a sense of comfort; his eyes drooping tiredly with peacefulness.

"According to Chloe's vast research into the matter it seems that at night…"

Nick found his hangover slowly subsiding as Andy regaled him with the lesser known activities of marsupials' à la Chloe. He didn't know when he fell asleep but later, when he'd finally woken up, he found a glass of water by his night stand along side a new case of Advil, signifying that Andy had known all along that his illness had nothing to do with a stomach virus, and everything to do with his binge drinking.

As the only child of an alcoholic father, he should have known she would know better than anyone what the after effects of a week long bender looked like. Feeling more than a little ashamed of himself, he could only stare at the offering with a heavy heart.

It wasn't until he stepped out of his room and discovered a completely spotless apartment and a fridge full of food, that he realized the lengths Andy would go to take care of the people she cared for. The knowledge alone was enough to warm his heart.

And if he hadn't already been sure about how be felt about her before, he was now.

Andy McNally was everything he never knew he needed and more.

* * *

True to his word, the next morning he showed up bright and early to work. He was showered, shaved, dressed and in the Parade Room before anyone else was. He'd even taken time to review the case files of the calls that had come in while he was out.

Despite having been away for five days, he had in really only missed out on one day of work as the previous four had been his off days. This was possible because everyone in the department was now on a rotating schedule comprised of twelve hour shifts; four days on and four days off. It was yet another departmental change that had been implemented while he was undercover aimed at cutting down overtime and saving the department money.

Suffice it to say, his presence or lack there-of didn't seem to have been missed.

By the time Andy made it in to Parade, several others had already taken their seats including Dov, Oliver, Sam, and Gail. Dov, Oliver, and Sam had said their 'hellos' to him before been being locked in conversation. Luckily for him, there had been only one slightly tense moment in which Gail lingered by his chair. He had sensed her before he had seen her; unable to ignore the hauntingly familiar floral perfume she always wore or the reaction he innately had to it.

It hurt.

So much more than he thought it would.

Tightening his fists beneath the table where he sat, he did his best to keep his heart rate at a normal level while hoping she would get the hint and walk away. Unfortunately, Gail being true to character stood her ground, and quietly waited for him to look up and acknowledge her.

When he didn't, she grew impatient.

"I called a few times."

Her voice sounded small, timid almost, and Nick couldn't help but think that maybe she hadn't had as much bravado as he thought. Perhaps she had even been hurting the way he had. But he didn't want to think about that right now.

Even still, he couldn't help remembering the previous evening when he had finally checked his cell phone after taking the medicine and eating the soup Andy had left him.

Gail had left three messages in total.

He hadn't listened to a single one before he deleted them.

He might have been wrong in doing so, but he was just tired of it, all of it; the back and fourth, the off and on, the constant drama.

He didn't want to be angry anymore, or have her feel badly about their failed relationship. He was able to admit that it was just as much his fault as it was hers. He was finally ready to move on from their constant hot one day and cold the other routine. After all, if either one of them were going to be happy something had to change, and Nick decided that it was going to be him.

He just couldn't do it anymore.

He didn't have the heart to.

With that in mind, Nick cautiously glanced in Dov, Oliver, Sam's direction before tersely replying.

"I saw."

Not thrown by his seemingly cool behavior, Gail decided on the direct approach.

"Look Nick, I know you're mad at me right now, and you have every right to be but if we coul-"

Glancing up at her for the first time in almost a week, Nick cut her off; needing to put an end to this conversation before it could begin. For both their sakes.

"If it's alright with you, Officer Peck, I'd really just like to do my job right now."

For a moment Gail dropped her walls down long enough for him to see one of her truly vulnerable expressions; piercing blue eyes staring back at him in the way that always got to him. It was only a second though, because in the next, that hauntingly cool smile that Nick was more than familiar with was back in place.

"Sure thing, Collins. Anything you want."

Striding away, she opted to take a seat a few feet in front of him.

Never once turning back to look at him.

It wasn't until Andy came in, smelling like citrus-melon and honey, and took the empty seat next to him that he decided his reaction had been the right one. Forcing himself to forget about Gail for the moment, he turned to Andy just as she fixed him with one of her brightest smiles. She even made sure to let her eyes run down his visage approvingly before addressing him.

"Welcome back, Collins."

Looking back at her, Nick could only smile as he replied.

"Good to be back, McNally."

'…_Good to be back.'_

* * *

They had been detailed to park duty for the day.

Apparently, there had been several callers complaining that certain illicit activities had been happening on the far northeast lot of the South Parkdale Park grounds near the men's room. Together they had been patrolling the area for quite some time, but so far, nothing had turned up.

Needless to say that had left them with plenty of time for idle chatter while they waited around for 'riff raff' as McNally had put it. In the nine hours that they had been on the job, Andy hadn't once brought up his 'illness' yesterday, or even his conspicuous disappearance during the last four days.

It was strange, but Nick was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Instead he listened on as she entertained him with tales from the previous day of her Friday the 13th escapades with Chloe at the old abandoned warehouse. From what she had told him so far, it seemed that despite the new recruit's somewhat odd demeanor, she was actually really great at solving mysteries.

"…So then Chloe snatches the wig off the guy and says 'you would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids.'"

Andy finished, before devolving into a fit of giggles.

"You're joking right? Andy, please tell me that's a joke."

Andy could barely breathe she was laughing so hard. Fanning her hands frantically in front of her face, she tried to calm herself down so she could finish the story.

"You want to know the best part of that story?"

Incredulous, Nick deadpanned.

"_There's more?"_

Andy could only nod as she struggled to get her breathing under control.

"Growing up, turns out Chloe's parents didn't believe in owning a TV, so she's never actually seen _Scooby_ _Doo_."

Unable to hold it back, Nick found himself laughing along with her as Andy burst into a new fit of laughter that was too contagious to ignore. In this moment it was easy to believe it was just the two of them and they were back undercover. It was as if the last week of heartache and despair had been some horrible nightmare and _this _was the real world.

After several more moments of laughter, they simmered down into a comfortable silence. Outside the early sunset reminded them that fall was quickly approaching as the orange sky faded into a dazzling array of blues and violets. Even still, children continued to play on the park swings and life went on. The natural ease of the day and the almost perfect familiarity of her presence is the only way he could explain the next words that came tumbling out of his mouth.

"Gail and I broke up."

Andy didn't seem very surprised when she turned from her window to look at him thoughtfully. Judging by the way her brows suddenly tilted up and her bottom lip twitched slightly before coming to rest in a half pout, Nick knew she must have already known.

"But I guess you knew that one already, huh?"

The question was rhetorical and the both knew it. Still the light flush of her cheeks gave her away before she answered.

"I might have heard something about that, but I just figured…"

She shrugged and looked down before looking back up at him.

"You guys will work this out. I mean, you guys are good like that. You _always_ manage to work it out. It's actually the thing I admire the most about the two of you…."

Suddenly frowning, she drifted off in a way that made him sure she was thinking of Sam. She only wore that frown when she was musing about him. Andy must have realized her faux pas as she quickly shook her head before finishing resolutely.

"You guys always pull through."

Nervously rubbing his neck, Nick sighed tiredly and looked away from her, not sure where he would even begin to explain to her why _this time_ was different from all the others when he wasn't even sure he understood it. How Andy's presence in his life had changed everything. Everything he knew about himself, everything he knew about her, and everything he knew about what he wanted.

Despite all of that having just ended his relationship, he knew that now was not the time to pursue a new one with Andy. He was still too raw and her friendship just meant too much to chance it all on a fling, not to mention she still seemed stuck on Swarek regardless of the fact that he had seemingly moved on during her absence.

Suffice it to say, it just wasn't the right time for either of them. Still, he wanted to her to know the truth because he didn't like keeping things from her.

"Yeah, well. I..."

Nick paused; worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he kept his eyes firmly planted on the steering wheel and willed the hard thump of his heart in his chest to settle.

"I don't think it's going to work out this time."

He sighed, releasing a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding as he settled on telling her the half-truth which he figured had to be better than no truth at all.

He could feel his shoulders slumping as he let it sink in – both to Andy, but on another level, to himself - before turning back to her and finishing.

"She…She cheated on me."

This time when he looked at her, Nick did see her surprised reaction. This was something he was happy to witness, as he took it to mean that if she didn't know about the affair, then the others didn't know as well.

And regardless of what type of dick everyone thought he might be for dumping Gail right after her harrowing experience with the man who kidnapped her, he'd rather them think of him as a dick than be on the receiving end of their pitying glances.

After a few moments of silence Andy finally came out of her shock.

"I- I had no idea - but that sucks, Nick, I'm so sorry to hear that."

Unable to look at her, Nick looked down at the note pad in his lap and nervously fiddled with it.

"It's for the best. You know, ever since we got back from the undercover sting, things have been different, really different,"

He laughed, surprising himself at how bitter it sounded even to his own ears - feeling his cheeks burn at how bad it must've sounded to Andy, too.

"It was only just a matter of time."

"You two looked so happy though."

Her response was so strong and so sure, glancing back at her Nick wondered – not for the first time- what he must look like to her and if it was _anything close_ to what she looked like to him.

Finally looking away, he shrugged.

"_I guess, it just wasn't enough..."_

A few moments of tense silence went by before Andy reached out to grab his hand, waiting until he met her eyes and smiled.

"If it's any consolation, she's nuts to have cheated on you, because _you_ Nick Collins were the best fake boyfriend I ever had."

There was an awkward beat of silence that passed between them before they both burst out laughing.

And just like that all the tension of the previous moment was gone.

For the rest of their shift, they would continue to toss out the occasional quick quip or wry wisecrack in passing, once in a while pausing long enough to engage in a little light banter, and then, if the circumstances were just right, perhaps he'd even be lucky enough to get a smile out of her.

And somehow that was enough.


End file.
